adventures in the neighborhood listserv: baby chick edition

From the same people that brought you throw down fights over Christmas lights being left out too long and nanny tax reporting, I now present the latest in WASP-y, first world problems: baby chicks.  

When we aren't talking about where we can get girl scout cookies (too late) or boy scout mulch (they deliver!), we move onto really important topics about raising Easter chicks. It all started with this request:

"Does anyone know where I might get baby a baby chick or duck for Easter?? Ideally I am looking for an outfit/farm where I can purchase the egg and then return the baby a week or two after it's hatched (granted it survives my child) where it will live a long good life. Because I have no room for a chicken or duck in the yard.... But I would love to share the learning experience with child."

Depending on how you look at it, this mother is either trying to provide a wonderful animal learning experience for her child or, the more popular opinion, this mother is looking for the most cruel way to provide a long, slow death for a cute, furry animal. 

Let the listserv insanity ensue. My personal favorite responses:

"Would you hand your newborn over to a child as a science project? Surely not." 

Did we just compare baby animals to real babies? Yes, yes we did. 

"I Have a bunny if you want to borrow it." 

Sharing is caring.  

This doesn't even include any of the responses that sprung out of the related thread about chick shaming the original poster. I can't make this stuff up. But, of course, it's not a true listserv fight until the certified listserv troll weighs in:

"Shame on us who shamed people who shamed the shamers over a simple and honest request…Where can one rent a duck? Is this America?  Bravo Duck Renter, I salute you. Would that others seek to rent and return animals or better still, children. I know of at least three families that would happily have passed their children on at ages three or four (the equivalent of a month old duck). Instead they dropped them off at the pit [our local playground] to fend for themselves, where they grew up and became vagabonds. I stand firmly behind anyone who dares to exercise the right to say hello duck, good-bye duck. Rent away Duck Renter, this IS America."

adventures in the neighborhood listserv

One of the greatest joys of our neighborhood is the listserv. When it's not full of people asking for plumber recommendations or giving away free stuff, it stoops to the absolutely ridiculous. We even have a listserv troll whose sole purpose is stirring up controversy. Here are some recent gems from the 22305 & my favorite follow-up comments. I have no doubt there will be plenty of content in the future to make this a regular series. 

Original Post: 


Does anyone know either the phone no. to order IRS forms for a maid or where I can get them besides that horrible office in Bailey's Crossroads where I went last year? They were so rude to me when I asked about the forms that I was incredulous. They said they didn't have them and that I'd have to come back, but that there was no phone to call to find out whether they had them. I said "WHAT???" and the lady got up out of her chair and walked out on me.

I actually called my congressional representative, seeing that this is what I'm paying my tax money for, but they did nothing. At any rate, the phone no. that I used last year is no longer in service, so I either need a new one or need to go somewhere ELSE to get these forms. They're no longer sent in the mail. I think one of them is a Schedule H.

Best Response:


It's odd that you've managed to use the internet to send your email to about 2,000 or so people (not to mention calling your congressperson), but somehow it doesn't seem to have occurred to you to see whether IRS Forms are readily available online. Google is your friend.

My thoughts:

It's 2014. I'm pretty sure we can't still be using the word "maid."

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Original Post

I'm going to say it - the thing a lot of us have been thinking but nobody has been willing to say on here. PLEASE try to take down your holiday décor. We find ourselves in mid-January with lights still out and lit every night, blow up Santa on the corner, garlands and wreaths galore, etc. I know it can be a pain to put them all away, that people were out of town for holidays, that it was inordinately cold - but please take them down. I don't think we're the kind of neighborhood that should still have these up when February rolls around. Thank you!! 

Best responses:

Flag Day is June 14th. Please ensure you and yours do your best to make our neighborhood presentable by this time. 

Rats. Just unplugged our lights, but will have to turn them back on ASAP. ;-) 

Was gonna take down outdoor lights tomorrow before departing for three months in Florida, but the challenge has now been issued. Which house has the endurance, the stamina, the fortitude, the good ol' American can-do spirit to earn the first annual Last Blinking Light of the Season award? And no fair if you unplug my lights before my return.

And a few words from the troll:

I have learned many things since joining this wonderful neighborhood, first and formost is that the good citizens of this area are fiercely protective of inflatable pumpkins, witches, and wisemen. Just this past Halloween I made a similar suggestion and found the reaction overwhelming. I received threats, nasty notes and one proposal of marriage. I said no thank you, but later found myself in need of a dance partner and have come to regret that rushed decision. I wish you luck in your clean up campaign. I fear what inflatables valentines day will bring.

My thoughts:

This one actually made it into the Washington Post. This is somewhat embarrassing, but mostly amusing. Today is February 5th, and at least 4 houses on our block still have their lights up and turned on. Also, now would be a good time to explain something. Our neighborhood is really called Beverly Hills. Yes, I think this is ridiculous. Yes, I avoid telling people this. No, I can't do anything about it. Basically my life has become a 10-year-old Weezer song. Great.