Tuesday, March 17, 2015

adventures in the neighborhood listserv: baby chick edition

From the same people that brought you throw down fights over Christmas lights being left out too long and nanny tax reporting, I now present the latest in WASP-y, first world problems: baby chicks.  

When we aren't talking about where we can get girl scout cookies (too late) or boy scout mulch (they deliver!), we move onto really important topics about raising Easter chicks. It all started with this request:

"Does anyone know where I might get baby a baby chick or duck for Easter?? Ideally I am looking for an outfit/farm where I can purchase the egg and then return the baby a week or two after it's hatched (granted it survives my child) where it will live a long good life. Because I have no room for a chicken or duck in the yard.... But I would love to share the learning experience with child."


Depending on how you look at it, this mother is either trying to provide a wonderful animal learning experience for her child or, the more popular opinion, this mother is looking for the most cruel way to provide a long, slow death for a cute, furry animal. 


Let the listserv insanity ensue. My personal favorite responses:


"Would you hand your newborn over to a child as a science project? Surely not." 


Did we just compare baby animals to real babies? Yes, yes we did. 


"I Have a bunny if you want to borrow it." 


Sharing is caring.  


This doesn't even include any of the responses that sprung out of the related thread about chick shaming the original poster. I can't make this stuff up. But, of course, it's not a true listserv fight until the certified listserv troll weighs in:


"Shame on us who shamed people who shamed the shamers over a simple and honest request…Where can one rent a duck? Is this America?  Bravo Duck Renter, I salute you. Would that others seek to rent and return animals or better still, children. I know of at least three families that would happily have passed their children on at ages three or four (the equivalent of a month old duck). Instead they dropped them off at the pit [our local playground] to fend for themselves, where they grew up and became vagabonds. I stand firmly behind anyone who dares to exercise the right to say hello duck, good-bye duck. Rent away Duck Renter, this IS America."


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